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Why I am a Mormon (the short version)

I was born this way. Haha! No, but seriously. I was born into a family that actively attended church. When I had questions, my parents answered them. As I got older, I had more serious questions, especially when I decided to attend Brigham Young University (a Church-sponsored university). I found answers to my questions, but they weren't really questions that were going to produce testimony-cementing answers.

My first experience with that kind of answer came when I was preparing to enter another country as a missionary. I was about to go and teach people of the veracity of this gospel, but I didn't feel like I could say I "knew" certain things were true. For example, I didn't KNOW Joseph Smith, Jr. saw God the Father and Jesus Christ. If I was going to say "I know," I wanted to be able to say it truthfully. Well, my answer came.... No one can ever take it away from me. It's not a story I tell lightly, so I will not type it out here; but if you want to "know" you can do the same thing I did. Pray, pray and pray some more.

I am also Mormon because I want a forever family. I may not understand all the logistics of it, but my family can be forever because I am striving to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He makes it possible.

OMGosh!!! I have followers

I guess this means I better update my blog more often than yearly. I won't let you down, dear followers.

It's that time of year again

No not Christmas (well, yes it is that). But M's birthday coming up. He's going to be 8 which is a milestone in so many ways. He's getting baptized, his IEP renewed, becoming a Cub Scout. I don't think I have enjoyed these first few years like I feel like I should have, but I guess I am just trying to take one day at a time. Especially with this precious boy of mine.

With the renewal of his IEP (individual education plan for those not in the know) coming up, I am reminded of how far he has come and also how far he has to go. But I guess we all have a long ways to go in one way or another. One day at a time... like I said. He has never been diagnosed, but M has a disorder on the Autism spectrum known as Pervasive Development Delay- Not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS). His school psychologist wants to label him as autistic for educational purposes, and I am not sure how I feel about that. I am going to have to talk to my friend who is also a school psychologist and see what she thinks. I am probably just freaking out for no reason, which is often the case... I mean I am pregnant and crazy at the moment so pointless freaking out is pretty much the norm lately. It makes me feel better to type this stuff out, so you might be hearing more about this in the future. Here is what I posted to a poor mother on Facebook who feels alone with her daughter in this strange world of PDD-NOS:

"Hi Stephanie, my son has not been diagnosed with PDD-NOS (yet), but he has seen a child psychologist once and that is where you need to get a diagnosis. My son is 8 and still has some speech and social issues, though he has come a very long way from when he first saw the psych 5 years ago. He told me it didn't really make a difference if we got the diagnosis at that point because we were already doing what he needed to improve (i.e. having him in early childhood education and the school district aware of it). Now he is in regular second grade and receives help with speech and social issues.

It is a VERY hard thing to deal with emotionally as a parent. I have shed many tears over my sweet son and how to help him. I feel far from understanding what I need to do and just overwhelmed over the whole thing. Mostly, I feel these things worst when his IEP comes due (this week) and I have to be reminded by professionals once again how much help he still requires. However, I think no matter what the diagnosis or label we place upon our children, they are still the children God gave us to care for and we can rely on His help and guidance... and if you don't believe in God, then just know this girl is your daughter and NOBODY on Earth knows her as well as you do and you probably know best deep down inside what is best for her.

If there are any other questions you have, feel free to post them here. I'll check this group often now that I know it's here. You're not alone!"

Update, sort of...

I only have a few minutes till Max and Ruby is over, but I am reminded every time I give someone my blog address that I should actually update it.

We're doing good. Haha!! What an update! D dislikes his job very much, and I dislike his schedule (as do the kids... mostly M). But we're persevering, and every time we make a mortgage payment, we're grateful he has the job.

I still struggle at times with anxiety and depression. I have found that if I get enough sleep and keep my anxiety under control the depression is kept at bay. So these are my priorities at the moment. Next on the list (as always) is organizing/cleaning the house. The kids, of course, are always a top priority. However, I compare too much; so I think I need to stop looking at other people's blogs and profiles on facebook. SIGH!! We all know I won't do that though. The computer is my addiction.

The weight loss thing has halted for the moment, though I do have occasional bursts of motivation. Of course, I'll keep you updated if anything miraculous should occur.

Triathlete?

I swam 20 laps tonight at the gym in about an hour. That's a whopping 500 meters or 0.277777778 miles!!! I am so proud of me. And it was nice because the kids got to go to the gym to (and get out of the house for once this winter) and play in the playroom. Everyone wins!

I really would like to start training for a triathlon to take place this summer. My brother thinks I am crazy, but we have already established that I am; so let's not beat the dead horse, shall we? I have "wanted" to do a triathlon for several years now, but between babies, moving (yes, I know that was 2 years ago) and my aforementioned craziness, I have not done it. I just think it would be so cool to say, "I am a triathlete" or "I have done a triathlon."

I believe this could be one of my life goals. Some day I need to write down all such goals; I have a bunch of them.

So anyways, I really enjoy swimming and biking. I hate running, so that will be the last part I train for. But the benefits are great. There's this chick at the gym who does triathlons. She's gorgeous; granted, she is Brazilian, so she has that in her favor. But I was talking to her one day and she was like, "I know I am crazy, but I really want to do an Ironman someday." AN IRONMAN??? Those are like impossibly long triathlons. She's my idol currently.

On a side note, there is this adorable young man who I would love to set one of my gals up with. Send me a note if you're interested. Here is what little I know about him (I haven't gotten his name yet): He looks to be about 21 or 22, I run into him often while swimming, he has done some triathlons, he's completely bald but it fits him (think of the bald guys you see on the Olympic swim team), he is in the Air Force ROTC at BYU and graduates next year (I think), and he really wants to go to Afghanistan when he graduates. Doesn't he sound dreamy? Brittany, I'll have to get a height check on him, he may be a keeper. One thing I don't know about him is if he is married or not... it hasn't come up in the conversations we have had (they've mostly been about swimming and triathons); however, I haven't noticed a ring.

Random thoughts and counting blessings

I am much happier today (and in general the past few days) than I was the other day when I unfortunately posted my woes for all to see. But you know, I have never been the kind of person who can keep up a perfect facade (not sure where the squiggly thingy goes on that word). I can't keep a perfect blog with videos, photos and daily updates... well maybe I could but it's not that important to me so I won't. So folks even though you're probably not expecting perfection from me, I expect it from myself. However, on this blog I will be posting what I am. But probably a whole lot of what I hope to become.

OK so that was totally random and not what I intended to post at all.

So on to the blessings...

I posted on FB that I am happy today for many reasons. Here are some of them: Dean doesn't have to work on Christmas or Christmas Eve. That makes me really happy because I was afraid with this new job that EVERYTHING would suck. Actually, as far as all that goes I am actually doing pretty well. Last night, not only did the kids get fed, but they were in bed by 8:30 PM. Let's face it, that almost NEVER happened when Dean was home every night. Not that it was his fault... it wasn't; but I guess we just always waited around for the other to initiate the bedtime process. Not that I like initiating, but let me tell you... I AM MOTIVATED when I am by myself with them. Also, I got them to bed without once yelling at them. So I am also happy because the past couple days I am feeling like a halfway decent mother. Though we could use some clean dishes at the moment.

I was going to write more about what I am happy about, but it's 12:45 PM and I need to get my babies lunch made. Suffice it to say LIFE IS GOOD (even though it's not perfect).